occupaitional hazards of new friends. part 2 of 2

So if you haven’t read the previous post, let me bring you up to speed: It’s late, I’m drunk, my friend from out of town left with two hookers. I’m in a taxi in the company of Irena a Russian hooker and I want to go home.


Me: Listen, you’re a very nice girl, but I’m not really into this sort of thing, so I’m going to drop you off wherever you want to go, and I’m going home.

Her: what do you mean you’re going home? I come with you.

Me: that’s not how we’re doing it, I’m hungry and tired and I want to go home.

Her: I am new here, I don’t know where to go, my friends they take me everywhere including where I sleep. Why you take me if you don’t want me?

Me: No no no it’s not that I don’t want you, it’s because I just don’t sleep with prostitutes. I’ll call my friend and drop you off at his hotel.

Her: fuck you, you think you are better than me? That I am just a simple prostitute? You fucking chauvinist pig.

Me: (totally surprised about her vocabulary and upset that OJ’s not picking up his phone) no no, I don’t think anything. Shit, he’s not picking up and I don’t know where he’s staying. Listen, I’m hungry, I want to eat something, is there anything open other than fast food? I’ll buy you some dinner and then we’ll try calling and I’ll drop you off with your friends. Excuse me, is there anything open right now to eat and nearby?

Taxi: only thing open now is shawarma on Diyafah.

Me: brilliant, take us there.

And that’s how I ended up at a late night restaurant on Diyafah street with a Russian hooker by the name of Irena. We started talking, because there’s nothing much to do when you’re eating hummus, and I find out that Irena’s from Siberia, and she’s come to Dubai via Moscow. Her grandparents (who raised her) used to read a lot and had an extensive library of Russian literature that she spent a lot of time perusing. After her grandfather died, she took care of her babushka and when she passed away too, she left for Moscow, spent some time there, and then ran into some people and came here. Having been in dubai less than a month I’m assuming she didn’t really get the full gist of her job.

Before I knew it, I had spent the last hour over shawarmas, falafel and fresh juice, discussing the recurring theme of hypocrisy in Chekov’s writing, the too many names of Dostoevsky’s characters, the authentic description of life in Tolstoy’s work. She was well versed in Pushkin (which I didn’t even know about), and discussed the demonic artwork that led Vrubel down a path public castigation. Irena was an expert on Russian literature and her command of English was pretty startling. A hooker with a thirst for knowledge, she had me.

After dinner, we forgot about calling OJ and about dropping Irena off, instead, we took a cab back to my place where we sat, opened up a bottle of wine and listened to some blues. I was fascinated by this person that was not only beautiful, but knowledgeable as well. When time came to retire, she wanted to earn her keep, which I respectfully declined and offered a friendship instead. Enchanting or not, I just couldn’t seal the deal with a prostitute, I don’t know if that makes me an asshole or just a carefully conscious person.

Irena understood, and after forcing her to take a shower and remove all the unnecessary makeup, I gave her some shorts to sleep in, and shared my bed with her. I slept with a hooker, but we never touched.

In the morning, I called OJ and found him out of breath and still working the girls. I told him I was sending Irena over to his hotel to meet with her friends so they can go home. OJ told me he loved me and that he’s leaving in the afternoon, but will be back, I forced a silent cringe.

Putting Irena in a cab, we promised to talk again, but she said it might be difficult because of our conflicting working hours. I still wanted to finish my discussion on Post Soviet underground literature, but morning was up, and I had work.

From the moment I arrived in Dubai, my most interesting night spent with a girl in this town, and she had to be a prostitute.